A Day in the Life

Now that I own and operate a clean burning and fuel efficient propane grill, I've noticed that I'm going through some pretty major changes in life - namely, I have super-human strength. I may not look like much of a beefcake, but let's just think logically here: Russell rhymes with "muscle" for a reason.

Story: I was sitting in the video archive waiting on yet another slow file transfer when all of a sudden my phone rang. It was my friend Caroline. The door to her apartment shut behind her and stuck. It would not open. She was trapped outside. "I'll be right there," I said. As my name also rhymes with "hustle," I was there in a flash.

Upon arrival, I employed my usual MacGuyver-ish skills on the door but to no avail. This was obviously not an ordinary door; I ceased my inner physics lesson about leverage, fulcrum, and durability of metals, plastics, and faux-wood. With the politeness to preemptively apologize for any property damage, I went old school and laid into that mo-fo with a BOOM! As the dust settled, I emerged triumphantly through the doorway - not a bruise, scratch or reportable property damage anywhere to be seen. With a quick readjustment of my necktie, I was on my way...another public service project complete.

Upon hearing the story, Lara was - how do you say - amazed.