Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen...

In this corner we have Skip "the Dean" Rrrrrrrrutherford. And in the other corner, we have....wait, where is he? Where is Russ?? What's going on here? Something is amiss...

See, my dear classmates and friends, the beauty of being in charge of the school and the scheduling of particular summer blockbuster events such as a baggo duel is that one can wait until nearly 10pm the night before the match to simply establish 4:30 in the afternoon - yes, normal IPSP working hours - as gametime when one knows his opponent is diligently working on his IPSP and the video archive/research center which are both under tight deadlines.

Now, do not mistake this as saying that the newly minted bicycle owner simply refused to show or admit defeat. No. For the story I am about to tell will shake you to the very core. (Some names have been changed to protect the innocent...or presumed innocent.)

Knowing that 4:30 was gametime, I took lunch in my office in order to work through my break. I drank 5 cups of coffee just to keep my mind fresh and my productivity level high in order to take off a little early get in some pre-game warm-ups while scouting the competition. At 3:30, my supervisor (who is subsequently in charge of my evaluation) walks into my office to discuss some things. Among these is, "we have a meeting with [Ted] Kennedy at 4:00 at Boulevard." I thought to myself, "...but, the big game is at 4:30...but she holds the keys to my IPSP success and this is technically part of my project." Yes, I think I know what you are thinking..."wait a sec, Russ, T. Kennedy works with the Dean who has all but declared victory in Russ v Dean II. Why would you have a flash-meeting with a CS staffer at nearly the precise moment you are to be at the school?" I asked myself the same question (and voiced it to Lukman well prior to the event.)

Following the meeting, at exactly 4:36 (according to my cell-phone), I rushed into Sturgis Hall only to find that no one is on the Baggo fields (indoors due to rain threats.) "Surely I am not that late," I think aloud. I go into my office, set my stuff down, and am immediately engaged in a lengthy conversation with known Dean-loyalists Wilson and DiPippa before being ordered to "fix" some kinks with the archive. I can hear cheering in the hallway...

After initiating a couple programs, I decided to venture out to the field only to hear gleeful declarations of victory echoing through the building. The Dean. After discussing the predicament and oddness of the situation, his reply is simply, "I had no part in having you meet with T. Kennedy at 4:00." Oh, I don't know...that sounds an awful lot like "I have no recollection" plausible deniability.

Nevertheless, as the baggo field was still set up and as another higher echelon staff member was holding the bean-bags as if ready to play, I suggested a quick match only to find the Dean move with lightning speed to put the baggo set back into storage thus forfeiting a serendipitous baggo engagement.

Dear friends, undoubtedly you will hear this story from another side which will portray my unyielding devotion to my studies and this school as an act of foreiture and cowardice. Do not be swayed...ask yourself these questions: "Why would Russ make the effort to leave work early and be at the school if not to be at the match; if he wanted to concede, why did he still show? Who stands to potentally gain more if no match is to occur - the Dean could claim psuedo-victory whereas Russ could benefit in no-possible-way-at-all? If Russ was on time, it'd mean he sacrificed his grades. If he wasn't on time...well, we know what happened."

Ladies and gentelman, be assured that Dean v. Russ II will happen. Prepare yourselves; for upon your return to LR, you may yet have the opportunity to bear witness to this truly historic rematch at a time and date TBD. The only question now is when will the Dean find time to schedule it....


***Per a reader comment which questions the sequencing of the next match, I contend that as II did not come to fruition - as neither I was able to be present at the established time (only 6 minutes late) nor the Dean was willing to play when the chance revealed itself - we are yet to have an official rematch from the first bout. Therefore, Dean v. Russ II has merely been postponed...it most certainly has not been decided or agreed upon.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

If there were to be a new match, wouldn't it be Russ v. Dean III?

Sara said...

Your Little Rock Cabin Fever is showing.

Linds said...
This comment has been removed by the author.